“In As Few Words As Possible”

In every walk of life, there are those individuals who seem to have the magic touch, the ability to get it right, all the time. It doesn’t matter whether they’re business leaders, sales professionals, investors, spiritual leaders, entertainers, politicians…these obviously “charmed” women and men appear to know something others don’t. Is it a gift they were born with, some rare genetic trait one either possesses or doesn’t? Or is it a skill they learned and developed somewhere along their path to consistent, predictable success?

And speaking of success—just what is it anyway? Certainly Bill Gates, Lady Gaga, Queen Elizabeth, the Pope, and Barack Obama can all be described as highly successful; and yet, each apparently has a very different idea about what success looks like to them.

In fact, we all define success somewhat differently. What one person views as “having it all” might seem grossly inadequate to another. Some people strive to be CEO of a Fortune 100 company; others shoot for top-producing salesperson. Still others dream of starting their own small business, while there are those who simply want more balance between their career and personal life.

Of course, for many, success equates with wealth, while for others—well, let’s be honest, most people want a lot of money. But the specific amount and their reasons for wanting it can vary quite a bit. How much is enough? Ten thousand? Ten million? Ten billion? A hundred billion, Mr. Bezos?

How can we possibly come up with the secret formula for success when we all define success so differently? Maybe that’s why there are so many books on the subject, so many attempts to standardize an approach to achieving our most ambitious goals.

And maybe that’s why so many of us fall painfully short of doing so.

When you look more closely at the world’s most successful people (and companies, for that matter), it appears they really do know something less successful people don’t know. Some of those high achievers don’t even know they know it. But they do. And they make use of it every day of their lives.

To begin unraveling the mystery, think for a moment about what ultimate success would look like to you. What would you have to achieve? What goals would you have to accomplish? Maybe you would reach or even surpass your most ambitious sales objectives. Perhaps you would grow your business to the point where you established yourself as the market leader. Maybe you led your team to unprecedented productivity and gained the recognition and respect of those you work with.

Now imagine your personal role in this scenario. What kinds of actions, interactions, transactions, conversations, and activities did you have to engage in? What did you look like in this picture? Were you happy, confident, and self-assured? Were other people involved? Who were they? How did they react to you and what you did? Were they working against you, struggling or fighting with you, disagreeing with your opinions, trying to make you fail? Or were they cooperating, agreeing with most of what you said and did, contributing to and enhancing your success? Did they buy what you were selling, support your efforts, and show their appreciation and respect? And were they happy about doing so?

If there are no other people in your picture of success, if you envision yourself making it to the top all alone, you’re missing a very important element, perhaps the most important one. Because in just about every area of life, professional and personal, in order to achieve success… in other words, to get something you want that you don’t have now—the one thing you absolutely must have is the agreement and participation of at least one other person, and probably many more.

You might like to believe it’s all up to you, your skills and expertise, that you can do it on your own—but in almost every situation, you simply cannot. Someone, somewhere has to respond to your efforts in a favorable manner, one that supports your goals and objectives.

For example, if you’re in sales and want to achieve top results, it is necessary for customers to buy from you. If you are interested in fast-tracking your career, you’ll need the recognition and approval of the people you work for. In fact, you will never even land your dream job in the first place unless the person doing the hiring offers it to you. Starting a successful business can be a lonely endeavor. But prospective partners, employees, investors and, of course, customers all must be ready and willing to support you in making your company a success. A great relationship, whether professional or personal, is definitely attainable, but only if the other individual is willing to co-create it with you.

And so, as it turns out, that Secret Success Formula looks something like this…

Your Actions + The Cooperation of Others = Your Success

Is it any wonder that the world’s most successful people are also among its most persuasive—those individuals who are able and willing to inspire others to support them? When you really think about it, almost nothing ever happens in your life without the participation of someone else.

And so, the more effective you are at influencing the attitudes, behaviors, and actions of others, the more likely it is you will get what you want out of every interaction.

All of the world’s most successful people and organizations understand and apply this principle. Some use it more faithfully than others. Some do so with better intentions than their peers. But they all use it. And if you’re going to join the ranks of the successful, you will have to learn to do the same.

Influencing others? Are we talking about some diabolical process for controlling people’s thoughts, a manipulative scheme to get people to do things they don’t really want to do? On the contrary, true, lasting success rarely results from taking unfair advantage of others.

We’re not talking about getting the upper hand or turning someone else’s loss into your gain. This is all about creating mutually-beneficial relationships, true win-win situations. It’s about getting the things you want, by becoming more keenly aware of those with whom you interact—who they really are, and most important, what they really want and need. Without this understanding of and appreciation for others, there’s no way you can consistently get what you want, no way you can achieve the super-success you desire.

Keep this concept in mind, and start employing it, and you will begin to get more of what you want in your interactions with others, faster and with less effort than ever before. And you will end up being better-liked and more respected in the process. Sounds unrealistic? It’s not. This approach is applied effectively every day, by some of the best-known and most successful people and businesses in the world. And it’s not only happening all around you, right at this moment—it’s happening to you.

In future articles, we’ll discuss just how to go about applying the process. But for now, just remember…your success is less something you achieve than it is something you earn.

So start earning it!

————-

Keith Harmeyer works with organizations that need their teams to be more creative in their daily work, in order to leverage change and drive innovation. A business keynote speaker, trainer, author, coach, and consultant, Keith has worked with market leaders like Google, Under Armour, NBCUniversal, Siemens, Spotify, Capital One, Omnicom Group and many others.

Keith’s latest program, “Playing to Win-Win™” helps business owners and entrepreneurs learn to consistently establish mutually-beneficial relationships with clients and customers, in order to achieve greater, longer-lasting business success.